Rosemary
by Ann Parker
Summary: Reid surprises JJ with a visit and a gift. Set shortly after 10x11, "The Forever People." One Shot. ***Runner up for Best Reid Characterization for the 2015 Profilers Choice Awards***


A/N: I don't own Criminal Minds or it's characters... This is just a little ficlet that popped into my head when I was rewatching some of season 10. Who's ready for tomorrow? Anyway, hope you like it.

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January 2015

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JJ sighed as she curled up with a cup of tea on her couch. Will and Henry had gone to meet some of Henry's classmates – "the guys" as he called them – to watch a playoff football game. Her heart panged a little at that, her baby was growing up. So she sat alone in her quiet house, grateful for the silence and yet tormented by it at the same time.

It had been about a week since she'd read that file in her office. Knowing what made him into a monster – _her_ monster – had only put a slight ease to her pain. She imagined how the victims in their cases felt, knowing why the unsub did what they did. It supplied context to the situation, but didn't really alleviate the pain much. Still, it helped her add some human elements to him, making him appear more human and less than just an evil shadow in her mind. She wasn't remotely close to being normal, but she was a least one step in the right direction. She knew she should talk to someone about the risk she took in that freezer, but she just wasn't ready. She closed her eyes, trying to will these thoughts away for a moment of peace.

The soft chime of her doorbell startled her, her eyes shooting open. Who in the world could that be? She set down her mug and extracted herself from the blanket she had covered with, making her way to the door. She peered through the peephole and couldn't stop the faint smile that crossed her lips as she opened the door.

"Spence, hi." She moved to allow him to enter.

"Hi JJ," he greeted, a soft smile on his face as well as he entered, carrying a large bag. She shut the door behind him, blocking out the cold air that threatened to overtake the warm house. She quickly helped him out of his coat, a gentle layer of the snow flurries covering it. He kicked off his boots in the direction of her family's shoe pile and she chuckled at his always mismatched socks. Now that he was finally done with the work required to enter the house during January in Virginia, she could move the conversation along.

"Not that I mind you being here, but I don't recall us making plans." They made their way into the living room and she took back her spot on the couch.

He nodded as he took a seat on the other end, setting the large bag he brought with him gently on the coffee table. "We didn't. I just remembered you mentioning about the game and Henry's plans so…"

"So you thought you'd surprise me?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. She wasn't sure what to think of this. Given the last time he surprised her…

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." He grabbed the bag, "I, uh, wanted to give you something. But, I didn't think it would be appropriate at work." He handed her the bag and she immediately noted the weight to it.

She looked at him, confused, but obliged him in opening it. She looked inside and blinked. Then she breathed it in. The scent took her back to happy memories of large family feasts. Gently, she pulled out a medium sized, ceramic blue pot with a small amount fresh rosemary growing in it. She smelled it again; it was one of her favorite herbs, but she never bothered growing her own. "Thanks Spence." She really wasn't sure what to think of this peculiar gift, but she was sure he would explain.

He smiled. "You're welcome."

She set the bag and the pot on the coffee table and then turned her gaze back to her best friend. He took that as he sign to explain. "Although mainly considered an herb for cooking nowadays, rosemary is actually a flower as well and its meaning is remembrance." He paused and made sure to keep her gaze. "I'm sorry I didn't know how to react to the news of your loss the other day, JJ. I've been thinking of some way for you to have a way to remember the child that…" He paused, the words even hard for him to say.

"I thought maybe you could plant this rosemary when it's warm enough and as you watch it grow and blossom, it can a way for you keep their memory alive in your heart. I know it can't erase the grief b—" He was cut short by her leaping across the couch and hugging him tightly. He gently wrapped his arms around her, returning the embrace. He felt she shake in his arms and his shirt dampen; sobs escaping her body. Sighing, he shifted on the couch in order to pull her into a more comfortable position. This was one of the reasons he didn't try to hug her at the station. Not only was he awkward about initiating physical contact with people, but he was afraid of saying the wrong thing and making matters worse. Now, he had apparently done it here.

He rubbed one of his hands up and down her back, trying to calm her. He noticed the shaking slow down after a minute. "Shhh, JJ…I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"No," she replied. She pulled back some so she could look into his eyes. "It's okay, Spence. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, the gift is perfect. Thank you. I just…" She laid her head back down on his shoulder and sighed. "I just haven't had anyone to talk to about losing the baby. Only Cruz knows."

Reid frowned. "You never told Will?"

He felt her head shake against his body. "I found out while I was in Afghanistan. Immediately after was everything with Emily and Doyle…and when I got back…" She shuttered again, the memory over taking her. Reid squeezed her tighter, sensing the flashback. "I figured he was better off not knowing."

Reid sighed, "JJ…" He honestly couldn't think of what to say. Part of him was trying to process why she told him and not her husband. Did he push her that hard? He thought he was doing the right thing by making her talk about it. Guilt washed over him. "I'm sorry I forced that out of you."

"I'm not." She pulled back completely this time, whipping her eyes with her fingers. "I'm not, Spence. I'm sorry that I've burdened you with this, but I'm grateful to have someone that knows what I've been dealing with for almost four years."

Reid offered a sad smile, "That's what friends are for. You were there for me after Maeve…" It was his turn to swallow the lump in his throat.

She squeezed his hand with hers. "Still am." They locked eyes for a moment, silently conveying their thanks to each other for being there. After a minute, JJ broke the eye contact first and looked back at her present on the table. "So, are you going to teach me how to care for this? Because I don't exactly have a green thumb."

Reid chuckled softly, "I included directions in the bag. But it's pretty easy to maintain. You just have to wait for it to be a lot warmer outside before you plant it, that's why I got you a pot that would give it some room to grow in the meantime." She nodded, grateful he thought ahead. Although, that really shouldn't surprise her anymore.

She was already looking forward to walking by the kitchen and smelling its fragrant leaves. It warmed her heart to think that every time she would catch a whiff, it would be like her child giving her a hug. She could never forget the sorrow of losing her child, but maybe this would allow the heartache to dissipate a little. It was certainly a step in the right direction to granting her some peace of mind. She squeezed his hand again, smiling as she met his eyes again.

"I really do love it, Spence. Thank you."


End file.
